Mugabe 1 - Democracy 0 (Extra Time)

As the world (well, the soccer-loving portion of it) awaits the Euro Cup final between Spain and Germany, a very important contest has just concluded in Zimbabwe. In this match, Mugabe came from behind to defeat Democracy 1-0 in extra time. This is a very disappointing defeat for Democracy fans all over the world.

As the match approached the 90th minute, many were convinced that Democracy would be able to hold on for an amazing victory. The explosive trio of Poverty, Inflation, and Inaction was thought to be too much for Mugabe to endure. Even when Democracy fell short at the end of regulation, Free and Fair Elections were widely expected to put Mugabe away in extra time.

But many simply underestimated how fierce Mugabe would be in the extra time period. Through bogus arrests, one-sided media coverage, and Violence (Man of the Match), Mugabe was able to crush Democracy and extend a long string of victories.

Several key players on the side of Democracy failed to contribute when they were needed. Some tried to take action right before the end of the match, but it was far too late at that point. "Several opportunities to change the outcome were missed", said one heartbroken fan of Democracy.

Mugabe is expected to celebrate the big victory tomorrow in Harare, while supporters of Democracy are left to wonder just what went wrong.

Next Fixtures:

MUGABE v. $3,000,000,000 Bread

DEMOCRACY is idle

Lessons Learned, Vol. III

After a short hiatus, due to the fact that Amanda was here to visit me for two weeks (yaaay!), I'm back in learning mode. So what have I learned over the last TWO weeks!!??!

Lesson 13
Cricket is the weirdest game I've ever seen. I tried to watch a game this past weekend, and I was this close to falling asleep in a restaurant. I thought it was like baseball, but I'm gonna have to take that back. It's more like baseball practice. The picture takes this long running start and tries to skip it past the "batter". Meanwhile, I never saw the batter run once! He just sat there and hit several balls. Do you remember the pre-Tiger era of televised golf? It was a lot like that.

Lesson 14
As I thought, the head-nod is a universal greeting that reaches across continents. Whether one speaks English, Afrikaans, or Xhosa, a head nod sums it up. Observe a recent interaction

When I nodded: Hello. How are you, I hope you're having a wonderful day!
When he nodded: Hello to you. I see you are a guest to my country. Welcome to South Africa!

Lesson 15
Contrary to what I've been told, the French are awesome!!! Along with having two French house mates (Antoine and Alex), we also spend a lot of time with Heloise and Pauline, who work at SAEP. They're hysterical, they're great cooks, and they've taught us how to select excellent red wine (which I hear is good for you...in moderation). So to all those Americans that were calling for "freedom fries", cesser d'être un idiot!

Lesson 16
No matter how many people are on a MetroRail train, there apparently is always room for one more…or seven! This past Tuesday, there were so many people on the train that people were hanging out of the door. At one point, I'm pretty sure that my feet weren't touching the ground. I thought we were gonna lose Sarah for a minute there, but she made it out. Speaking of getting off the train…

Lesson 17
Amanda can really lower the boom on some chumps. We saw many people struggle to get off the train during several stops. But once the train got to our stop, my wife lowered her shoulder and parted the sea of people like Moses. I saw her overpower several grown men that were trying to get on. I'll keep this in mind the next time I try to get out of washing dishes. Finally,...

Lesson 18
The next 7 days could have a dramatic effect on Zimbabwe and South Africa. The highly-anticipated runoff election in Zimbabwe is taking place on June 27th. With each passing day, the situation is growing more tense as more and more nations weigh-in on the legitimacy of this runoff. President Mugabe has made it clear that he won't give up power easily. If MDC candidate Morgan Tsvangirai winds up winning the election, there is a very good chance the results will be followed by violence. And post-election violence could lead to a huge number of Zimbabweans fleeing into South Africa, where they are still targets of Xenophobic violence. African leaders, along with the UN, must use their best judgment in addressing this matter. If they fail to do so, it could very well get ugly.

Tim Russert

I can't say this for certain, but I'm guessing that heaven is gonna be one happenin' place this week. I can almost hear the announcer - in this case, God...

"Live, from Heaven, this is 'Meet the Press'"

Stop for a moment and consider just how incredible this would be! I can envision some of the shows Tim Russert would have lined up.

TUESDAY: Discussion of the current conditions of the Iraq war with a roundtable of Presidents Washington, Lincoln, Wilson, and FDR.

WEDNESDAY: A Recap of the Democratic Primary, with Susan B. Anthony, Fanie Lou Hamer, and Molly Ivins

THURSDAY: In-Depth interview with Sen. Strom Thurmond of South Carolina. That would be one to TiVo!

FRIDAY: An Interview with Sen. Goldwater and President Reagan to discuss the future of the Modern Conservative movement.

SATURDAY: Predictions for VP choices, featuring Democratic Presidents Kennedy and Johnson, and Republican Presidents Eisenhower and Nixon

SUNDAY: The Sunday Roundtable, featuring Upton Sinclair, Edward R. Murrow, Peter Jennings, and Ed Bradley

I'm guessing it's possible that Mr. Russert would eventually return to his weekly format. But I can only imagine all the fun political figures of the past will now get to have (well, perhaps everyone except Sen. Thurmond).

The downside, however, is that when I get back to the U.S. in August, I'm still gonna get up early that first Sunday and turn on the television. It's at that point that it'll truly sink in. The political show I started watching with my dad well over a decade ago won't be the same. I, along with millions of other political junkies down here, are left to wonder how in the world will we ever fill the void left by such a brilliant political journalist.

Tim Russert was a legend, and he will be missed.

Back Behind the Wheel

Ryan and I had our second driving experience last night. I got to drive first, and I only stalled once before I got things going. In the name of full disclosure, I did cause this lady to run towards the sidewalk. I think she was overreacting though. Ryan swears that I almost hit this street vendor in front of the KwikSpar grocery store, but I think I cleared him with no problem.

When Ryan and I left the grocery store, we noticed that another car was parked behind us. I tried to talk Ryan into squeezing the car out of the tight spot, but he wasn't having it. He did a good job getting us back home, even though he panicked after turning down a dead end street.

As we headed back home, I started to wonder what would happen if we got pulled over by the cops. How would the officer react to my Arkansas Drivers License? This hypothetical scenario, along with our pair of driving experiences, inspired this new hit:

We're on the left side
We're driving
The natives don't know that we're ridin' dirty
Americans ridin' dirty
Riding dirty
In Cape Town
We're ridin' dirty

Fades of Our Lives

After over a month of letting my hair grow to intolerable proportions, I finally got my first haircut in South Africa. Based on the demographics of South Africa, I was miffed by how difficult it was to find a good barber shop. I've actually come across several over the past couple of weeks, but none of them had "the poster" in them (Note: "the poster" refers to the styling guide found in most black barber shops. See below).

Yesterday, I finally found a respectable establishment. Amanda and I walked in, and I was quickly offered a chair. Now I've been wearing the same hair style since the 7th grade. Shadow fade, low sideburns. It's low maintenance, and the waves come in with only a little bit of brushing. I wasn't sure that the barber would know what I was talking about, but I figured that could easily point to "the poster". Unfortunately, the poster was near the door of the shop, which was way out of pointing distance. Nervously, I started looking at the pictures of numerous American music stars that covered nearly every inch of wall space. When the barber would ask what I wanted, I'd simply say "Make it look like 50 Cent's hair". But by the time he asked me, I was worried sick that he'd wanna shave "G-Unit" into the back of my head. All I could get out was "make it low on the top, and fade it on the side.

When he started cutting, I noticed that he was taking off much more hair than I expected. But it was too late by then, so I just went with it. When he was done, I was sportin' the lowest haircut I've had in over two decades. Imagine that. I walked in ready to look like Fitty, and I walked out looking like Seal. I sang "Kiss From a Rose" around the house for the rest of the night.

All in all, I was pleased with my first haircut experience in South Africa. There was only one thing that truly troubled me. All of my barber shop trips back home involve watching ESPN, music videos, or movies that'll soon be released in theatres. But this guy was watching "Days of Our Lives". And he was really into it too! He was telling me how Stefano was involved with this lady, who was engaged to this other guy. I was thinking the whole time "don't you have SportsCenter here?!?!"

Staying true to my schedule, I'll be in for another haircut in two weeks. I wonder what Stefano will be up to then?

Lessons Learned - Vol. II

I'm learning so much here in South Africa, that I should be able to share nuggets of wisdom on a regular basis. Here's what I've learned this week…

Lesson 7
Don't be fooled by the phrase "African Salad". There's no lettuce, no croutons, and no little red tomatoes. "African Salad", my friends, turned out to be a combination of enriched corn meal and sour milk (buttermilk in the U.S.). My father has been eating a similar concoction all of his life, and he often subjected his two innocent sons to it. Needless to say I didn't have trouble downing a bowl full , but I still feel duped.

Lesson 8
Settlers of Catan is a pretty fun game. Yeah I said it! I held firm against playing it for months, but Sarah and Ryan have gotten me into it. Being fairly decent at it, even winning a few games, may have had something to do with it. As an aspiring public servant, I sometimes have to re-evaluate long-held positions. Maybe I also unfairly rushed to judgment on Magic, Dungeons & Dragons, Risk…

Lesson 9
Driving "on the other side" takes some getting used to, but it's not that bad. Ryan and I got to drive a friend's car earlier this week. Ryan went first and made a graceful left turn, and with only a minimal outburst of fear, he easily got back into the correct lane. After stalling once (ok, twice), I was doing a rather masterful job. Then I hit a curb. No harm, no foul, right?

Lesson 10
Though thousands of miles apart, South Africa and the Delta are very close when it comes to education quality. The current level of quality (or lack thereof) is the product of a historical system of mis-education. Efforts to improve education are often slowed, if not completely stopped, by fragmentation, low standards, and misplaced priorities. Likewise, any success in improving education quality can only happen through uniform standards, innovation, and accountability. Easier said than done, huh?

Lesson 11
The world loves Obama! Based on the articles I've read over the last 24 hours, there appears to be a lot of happiness about Sen. Obama securing the nomination. The Cape Times even printed a transcript of Obama's victory speech. Amanda got me a new Obama shirt, which I wore yesterday. I'm curious to see if anyone will respond to it. Which brings me to my last lesson...

Lesson 12
The world is watching this presidential election. Very few people can deny that the past 8 years have had a negative effect on our standing in the world. If the current numbers hold, the Democratic Party will enjoy historic success this November. But that won't be enough to satisfy the world, or (hopefully) most Americans. The Democrats will have to use their mandate to PRODUCE! There'll be no excuse for Democrats to not improve health care, education, and U.S. foreign policy. For the next 5 months, and well beyond, Sen. Obama needs to think long and hard about the team he puts together. The Congressional leaders must also think about how they'll govern this January. Remember, the entire world is watching.

My First Braai Experience

This past year, I founded the Little Rock BBQ Club with Erin Jones, a fellow classmate at the Clinton School. Our mission was to try every BBQ restaurant in the Little Rock area. We also worked on creating a rating system to review the restaurants we went to. Erin, this is for you…

I joined a group of people Sunday for lunch at Mzoli's, a restaurant in one of the townships of Cape Town. What started off as my first braai experience turned into what Erin would call "a moment of yummy deliciousness". We went inside and saw a huge display case of meat, just like what you'd see at Kroger. We told them how much meat we wanted, then they started piling. They grabbed chicken pieces, various cuts of pork, and sausage until we had an enormous pile of raw meat on a tray. Once you pay for it, they seasoned it, and handed it to us. From there, we took the tray down this hall, until we got to this (wiping away tears) beautiful room with at least six different smoke stacks going. We put our tray on the table, gave them the ticket, and waited as it made its way to the braai.

Soon after, our meat was done and our number was called. This might be a slight exaggeration, but as the man came around that corner with that tray full of cooked meat, I'm pretty sure I heard Stevie Wonder singing "My Cherie Amour" in the background.

Moments later, we were all around the table with a huge tray of meat, a loaf of bread, plates, and the drinks we got from across the street. Forks and knives weren't necessary. Just reach in, pull off what you want, and enjoy the magic. After a few hours of nonstop eating and drinking, it was clear that everyone was coming down with a case of "the itis" (or "food coma", depending on your cultural background).

Mzoli's is one of the most magical BBQ experiences of all time. For this reason, I'd give it our highest rating: Five snouts!

As an added bonus, Amanda's coming into town tomorrow night. This is shaping up to be an incredible week!